Success—Why Are You Sabotaging It?

Ever found yourself on the verge of reaching a goal, only to do something—often irrational or impulsive—that knocks you off track?

That’s self-sabotage, and it’s more common than you might think. Even when we want success, we can find ourselves subconsciously getting in the way.

Why does it happen? There’s more than one explanation, but let’s explore a couple of the most common—and how you can finally break free from the cycle.

Can and can't written on an old style blackboard with can't crossed out and can written in clear.

Fear Of Failure

Many people sabotage their success because they’re afraid of failing. Instead of facing the possibility of falling short, it can feel safer to quit early or hold back effort—so failure feels like a choice, not a verdict. This fear is often subconscious, showing up as procrastination, avoidance, or giving up just when success is within reach.

Imagine setting a goal to run a marathon. You train for months, but as race day approaches, you start skipping workouts and eating poorly. Deep down, the fear of not finishing may drive this behavior—making failure a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Fear Of Success

It might seem counterintuitive, but fear of success is a major driver of self-sabotage.

Success can bring change—new expectations, added responsibility, or shifts in identity—that someone may not feel ready to face. Subconsciously, the idea of stepping outside their comfort zone feels more threatening than staying stuck. So they sabotage their own progress.

You might want to grow your business, for example, but as success becomes a reality, you start missing deadlines or begin slacking on marketing. The thought of managing more clients or living up to higher expectations feels overwhelming—so you pull back to stay “safe.”

A beautiful blue compass with north pointing to the word success

I’ve seen this firsthand in my hypnosis practice. Sometimes, someone on the verge of a big promotion will do something wild—like moon the boss at the Christmas party. When we dig deeper, we find the root is emotional: they grew up idolizing a father who never made more than forty grand a year. The promotion would mean surpassing their dad, and subconsciously, that felt like a betrayal. So they sabotaged it

A woman struggling mentally with her palms on a bathroom mirror.

Low Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

People with low self-esteem or poor self-worth often believe, deep down, that they don’t deserve success.

When someone feels unworthy of happiness, love, or achievement, they unconsciously act in ways that block those very things. These behaviors are driven by limiting beliefs about their value and capabilities.

For example, someone in a relationship might constantly pick fights or push their partner away—not because they want to, but because they subconsciously believe they’re not worthy of love or affection. Their actions reflect an internal belief: “This can’t last, because I don’t deserve it.”

Subconscious Programing & Limiting Beliefs

Self-sabotage is often rooted in subconscious programming—deep-seated beliefs about what’s possible or deserved.

Limiting thoughts, such as “I’m not good enough” or “Success is too hard,” can lie quietly beneath the surface. Even if you consciously want success, your subconscious may be quietly steering you away from it.

For example, you might set a goal to advance in your career. But if you’ve been conditioned to believe that success is for “other people,” you might hesitate to apply for promotions or avoid networking with decision-makers, without fully understanding why. Deep down, your subconscious is trying to protect you from what it sees as a threat: change, risk, or being “found out.”

Fear Of Change & The Unknown

Change—even positive change—can be terrifying because it introduces uncertainty.

Human beings are hardwired to seek comfort and predictability. So even if someone is unhappy with their current situation, the fear of the unknown can lead to self-sabotage. Staying where things feel familiar often feels safer than stepping into something new.

For example, you might want to lose weight, but the idea of changing your identity, habits, or daily routine feels overwhelming.

Subconsciously, you begin skipping workouts or reaching for junk food—not because you don’t want results, but because your comfort zone feels more secure than the transformation you're seeking.

A silhouette of someone with their hands pushed up on a piece of glass that's fogged up.

Lack Of Clear Goals

Without clear goals and a structured plan, it’s easy to drift—and self-sabotage often fills the vacuum. What's that line from the Bible? "When there is no vision, the people perish."

When goals are vague or lack clear actionable steps, motivation tends to fade. It becomes easier to procrastinate, get distracted, or give up entirely.

Take the goal “get healthier.” Without a defined plan—such as specific meals, workouts, or milestones—it’s challenging to stay on track. That lack of direction leads to self-sabotaging behaviors: skipping the gym, reaching for junk food, or simply doing nothing… because nothing was clearly defined.

A blackboard with the phrase perfection is stagnation written on it

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is another sneaky form of self-sabotage. When people can’t meet their own impossibly high standards, they often give up rather than risk falling short.

Perfectionists tend to set unrealistic expectations, and when they don’t hit the mark, they sabotage progress by quitting, avoiding tasks, or endlessly procrastinating. The fear of doing something imperfectly creates paralysis.

You might want to write a book, but instead of making steady progress, you obsess over perfecting each sentence. Eventually, the frustration of not meeting your own standards causes you to abandon the project—or you put it off forever, because if it’s not a masterpiece, it might confirm your deepest fear: that you’re not perfect after all.

Stress & Emotional Overwhelm

High levels of stress often trigger self-sabotaging behaviors as a form of escape.

When overwhelm kicks in, many people fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms like procrastination, binge eating, or substance abuse. These habits may offer short-term relief but ultimately undermine long-term goals.

For example, if work pressure becomes too intense, you might avoid critical tasks or resort to comfort habits, such as overeating or binge-watching TV. It feels like stress relief in the moment, but it quietly derails your progress and momentum.

How To Break Free From Self-Sabotage

The self-help gurus often say, “Just stop doing that” —without ever showing you how. But it’s not that simple. You’re up against a lifetime of conditioning and deeply embedded beliefs that don’t just go away because you decide they should.

Breaking free from self-sabotage takes real work. You need to identify the triggers, and that’s where a skilled coach comes in. A good coach can help you uncover the root causes behind your patterns and guide you through proven strategies to change them.

Once you’ve identified the “why,” it’s time to dismantle it. That might mean reframing limiting beliefs or using tools like hypnosis or NLP to reprogram your subconscious—and build new, empowering patterns in their place.

Just remember, self-sabotage doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding the root causes and utilizing tools such as hypnosis, coaching, and goal-setting strategies, you can break free from the patterns holding you back. If you’re ready to stop self-sabotaging and start thriving, let’s talk.